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FIGHTING HARASSMENT
Do u like love ? U liked depression marriage, never say marriage, but sexy love. After marriage twin bother. And u want not marry. U love first time, second time sexy love then fight harassment.
Have person loved sexy her/him?
Person loved sexy marriage, stop fight harassment. Second loved sexy , stop not fight harassment.
Fighting harassment is not quiet/rest day. Fight have not insulin. Fight is jump hasty and brave.
Fight is loss in his brain.
Early fight harassment loss temper and fear hence unfit body & dead.
fight harassment marriage twin bother next divorce marriage...




This section will help you decide whether or not what is happening to you is harassment. It also contains information to help distinguish between workplace harassment and other types of harassment. Read this section to find out if there are laws against the behaviour you are experiencing
What is Harassment?
Someone is harassing you if:
he is doing things to make you feel uncomfortable;
he is saying things to make you feel uncomfortable;
he is putting you at risk in some way
The harasser will pick anything that makes you seem different from him. You might be harassed because of your:
gender;
race;
disability;
age;
looks;
sexual preference;
religious beliefs;
family;
birth place;
political beliefs (including union activities).
You might be harassed just because the harasser doesn't get along with you. Someone might say that you are "as blind as a bat" or "retarded." Comments like these can be harassment. There are different kinds of harassment. Two common forms are sexual harassment and racial harassment.
Sexual harassment is any unwanted attention of a sexual nature, like remarks about your looks or personal life. Sometimes these comments sound like compliments, but they make you feel uneasy. Sexual harassment can include:
degrading words or pictures (like graffiti, photos, or posters);
physical contact of any kind;
sexual demands.
Racial harassment is any action that expresses or promotes racial hatred and stereotypes. It can be obvious or subtle. It can include:
spoken or written putdowns;
gestures;
jokes;
other unwanted comments or acts.
Racial harassment can be hidden in questions or remarks that seem positive. Here are some examples:
"You are really pretty for a black girl."
"Tell me what it's like to always have your head and hair covered."
"Women from the Philippines are better at that than Canadian women."
"Native people are so good at crafts."
Different kinds of harassment can happen at the same time. Here is an example.
Leslie worked at a government office. She was called "nigger" and "dyke" by her coworkers. A male coworker told her that he was the "real man" she always wanted and offered to "change her. Anytime." She was told her work was not as good as that of other, white, workers. People said that she thought she was too good for her job because of her university degree.' ( see page 10)
Harassers often have authority in the workplace. Your supervisor might be a harasser. You might also be harassed by a coworker who wants you out of his way Or you might be harassed by someone who works under you and doesn't like it. The harasser wants to hold power over you. He counts on your fear of complaining. He may think you are an easy target if there are few women where you work.
What is a Workplace?
Your workplace may be:
an office;
a factory;
a building;
a private home;
a school;
a store.
You may also work outdoors, on a road crew, or in a vehicle. The washroom, cafeteria, and locker room that you use are part of your workplace. So is any other place where your employer does business. Laws and policies are in place to protect you from harassment, no matter where you work.
You may work as a homemaker, nanny or nurse. You may go into someone's home twice a week to help with laundry and housekeeping. You may think that the rules about harassment don't apply in this workplace. In a private home, people are more free to do as they like, but you are still protected under the law. Different work environments mean different ways of dealing with harassment.
You may have to travel as part of your job. For example, you might:
clean people's homes;
repair equipment at different places;
go to conferences or sales meetings.
You may experience harassment while getting from place to place. This can also be seen as workplace harassment. Your employer can't guarantee that you won't be harassed on a bus or walking along a street, but your safety on the job or on the way to and from the job is their concern.
Sometimes harassment that occurs outside the workplace affects your work. Actions like these can cause problems or harm relationships among employees:
someone from work follows you or hangs around your home;
phone calls and letters are sent to your home;
things happen at staff parties or retreats.
Some kinds of work can make you feel very vulnerable. Here is an example:
Regina works for a family as a livein nanny. She came to Canada for this job. She has no family and few friends here. It will be several years before she can apply for status as a landed immigrant or Canadian citizen. When something goes wrong in her workplace, which is also where she lives, Regina does not feel that she has anyone to whom she can turn for help
What is Workplace Harassment?
Workplace harassment is when someone harasses you while you are doing your job, or on your way to or from work. A harasser can be anyone you come in contact with because of your work. That person might be a:
boss;
supervisor;
manager;
Member of your board of directors;
coworker;
customer;
patient;
delivery person;
person in your union.
Harassment can happen anywhere in the workplace:
in the lunchroom;
in rest and washroom areas;
in staff rooms;
on the production line;
in an office.
You might also be harassed outside of your workplace. It can happen at a Christmas party, on a business trip or at a meeting at someone's home. Harassment is not always workplace harassment. It depends on the situation, and your relationship to the harasser. If your boss is in your home and demands that you have sex with him, it is still workplace harassment. Your boss has power over you. He could make things hard for you at work if you say no. If the same thing happens with a coworker who has no power over you at work, it might not be workplace harassment. However, if the coworker harassed you at work later, it would be workplace harassment. The employer would be responsible for stopping it.
Your employer is responsible for any form of harassment that affects the workplace, and your work.
I saw one of the instructors at our school fondle a female instructor at a Christmas party. He grabbed her on the buttocks and pinched her breasts. She clearly did not want him to do this. I considered it sexual harassment. I urged the woman to complain. She did not. Two other women and I reported what we saw. The man was in a position of responsibility and trust, and the school considered that the incident showed that he was not fit to carry out his duties. He was demoted.
Your Right to a Safe Work Environment
You have the right to work in an environment that is free from harassment. Employers are responsible for providing this to all workers. You have the right to expect your employer to take your concerns seriously. It is against the law for anyone you come in contact with on the job to harass you. It is against the law for your supervisor to promise you a raise or job perks in return for sexual favours.
The law also says that you have the right to work in an environment that is not "poisoned" by harassment. You cannot help but be affected by what is happening in the workplace. Your employer cannot expect you to work if people around you are making sexual, racial or homophobic jokes or comments, or putting graffiti and pinups on the wall. All of these things can make it hard to work. They are bad for your mental wellbeing. They affect your work just as if the harassment were directed at you.
You have the right to ask your employer, your union, or an outside agency like the Human Rights Commission to take action against harassment.
Shelley worked at a large corporation which she said was "like a boy's club." She complained about sexual harassment. The same day, she was harassed for complaining. Only the supervisor, the man Shelley complained about and Shelley herself were supposed to know. The "boys," even the ones in the union, stuck by each other. They often made sexual remarks about Shelley, or other women, to her face. They would joke about not upsetting her. The workplace was often postered with pinups. When Shelley handed a written complaint to her supervisor, he said, "I don't need this shit." After she left her job, she filed charges with the Canadian Human Rights Commission against the corporation. She charged her employer with discrimination based on sex and with failing to provide a work environment free of sexual harassment.
Is Workplace Harassment Against the Law?
Sometimes if is. If someone's behaviour is making you uncomfortable, don't keep it to yourself, You may not choose to do anything else, but tell someone about it.
At some time in our lives, we all have to put up with people we don't like very much. Some bosses are not very good at managing staff. They can make the workplace unpleasant or even miserable. That doesn't always mean their behaviour is against the law.
Laying charges is not the only way to deal with harassment. Sometimes taking legal action is not the best way to deal with problems in the workplace. There are other ways to fight harassment which is not actually illegal. Use the ideas in this guide to deal with every kind of harassment appropriately.
Is This Harassment?
There are many clearcut examples of harassment. Racist and homophobic insults are harassment. When a boss demands that an employee have sex or lose her job, it is clearly harassment, and it is against the law. But there are many less obvious examples. Many people are not sure if what they are experiencing is harassment.
Here are some examples of workplace behaviour:
a man puts his arm around a woman at work.;
someone tells an offensive joke;
someone says "You look great," or "Your hair looks terrific," or "Did you get any last night?"
These may or may not be examples of harassment. It depends on the situation. Where two people are friends, a comment like "your hair looks terrific" could be a compliment. If the same comment is made by a stranger on the street, it feels very different. If your boss leans over your desk and whispers the comment in your ear while you are working, it feels different again. The important questions are: do you feel comfortable with this person making this comment? and does he have any reason for believing that his comments are acceptable and welcome?
Here is another example. A group of factory workers have always told off-colour jokes, They are all comfortable with each other. No one is trying to offend anyone, and no one takes the jokes seriously Since they only work with each other all day, they don't have to worry about upsetting anyone else. The jokes might offend some people, but they are not harassment in this situation. If a new person joined their production line and was bothered by the jokes, they should stop telling them. If they persisted with this behaviour in the presence of the new worker, they would be harassing the new worker.
When you don't have support from other workers, it can be very hard to fight.
Stephanie works in the finance department of a large public institution. She is an Ojibway woman, and is the only aboriginal employee in the department. Four months ago the department was reorganized and she now works with a different group of people. They all know each other and have worked together before. They go out to lunch together, talk to each other, and share jokes and slang. Stephanie is left out. She tries to deal with the problem by talking to the only woman in the group, Kate. Stephanie explains that she feels excluded and that she thinks this harms the work. Kate denies anything is happening. She says, "We're not racists, if that's what you mean." Stephanie has said nothing about racism and is a bit surprised.
After this, the workplace becomes unpleasant. It is clear to Stephanie that the others are talking about her. One morning she finds a piece of paper taped to her desk that says "employment equity Indian." When Stephanie complains to her manager, he offers to transfer her. He says, "This is a good group. They work well together. You obviously don't fit in."
What Does the Harasser Think He is Doing?
Harassment can be confusing. You may wonder why the harasser is acting this way.
He might not think he is harassing you.
He might be very surprised when you call what he is doing harassment.
He might not mean to harm you, He is treating you the way he has learned to treat women.
He might feel that he has the right to behave this way with you.
He might not think his actions have a big impact on you.
He might want to push you out of a job that he thinks is for men only
He might be angry because you are assertive or question his way of doing things.
BUT
He might know he is upsetting you or harming you. He may enjoy the challenge. Maybe he feels more powerful when he treats you badly.
And no matter what he thinks he is doing, harassment is wrong. He can stop.
What Does the Law Say Harassment is?
There is more than one definition of harassment under the law. Some forms of harassment are clearer than others. More work has been done on sexual and racial harassment than on other forms. You can check the books listed
at the back of this guide to learn how the law has changed to cover these types of harassment. Some other forms of harassment are still being argued in court. Harassment challenges are happening in a range of workplaces.
The Ontario Human Rights Code and the Canadian Human Rights Act name different forms of discrimination. You can turn to the section on THE HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION for more information. Some harassment cases have gone through the courts. The decisions that the courts have made set some precedents, or guidelines, for new cases.
In these precedentsetting cases, the courts have decided:
when employers are responsible for workers being harassed;
what is and is not acceptable behaviour;
to recognize the seriousness of the effects of harassment on women.
Turn to the section on LEGAL REMEDIES for more information about the legal definitions of harassment and remedies for it.
Is Harassment the Same as Discrimination?
Legal cases have shown that harassment is a form of discrimination. Many collective agreements and workplace harassment policies now use these legal decisions as their own guidelines to protect workers against harassment.
What Should I Do?
Maybe you have been harassed at work for years. Maybe you are being harassed for the first time. Maybe someone or something at work is making you feel uncomfortable, but you aren't sure if it is harassment or not. What should you do?
Trust your instincts. If something makes you uncomfortable, there is a reason. Tell someone you trust right away. Not every comment or gesture is going to turn into ongoing harassment against you. You may want to see if it happens again, or see if it has happened to someone else. But don't ignore your feelings.
Jim was always wanting to see me in his office with the door closed. He would stand behind my chair and rub against my arm. The more he did that, the worse I felt. Once, at the coffee machine, he brushed up against me with his whole body. Then he stepped back and did it again. Finally, I realized I wasn't imagining any of it.
Seek out support. You do not have to deal with harassment alone. Talk to friends and people who can support and encourage you.
Learn as much as you can. You need information about your options. You need to use the help that is available. When you know what is possible, you will be able to decide what to do.
Take care of yourself. Harassment can make you feel bad physically and emotionally. It makes it hard to do your work. You may be too afraid of losing your job. You may be worried about what will happen to you. You may not feel ready to deal with your harasser. If you choose to stay quiet, please read this book, especially Section 6 on TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. Harassment affects more than just your job. It can upset your home life, your relationships and your health.
Deal with the harasser yourself first.
Deal with the harassment through your workplace. You can do this formally or informally Remember that you have the right to work in an environment free from harassment. Turn to Section 3 on WORKPLACE REMEDIES for ideas.
Make a legal complaint. If you can't resolve the problem at work, you may decide to make a legal complaint. Turn to Section 4 on LEGAL REMEDIES for more information.
You can change your mind. As you proceed you may decide that a different course of action is best for you.
My first employers in Canada harassed me and then unfairly fired me. I'd been their nanny for less than a month. But I was a member of a group of domestic workers then. We had the idea to go together and demonstrate in front of the family's home. We would have embarrassed the couple. As we made plans to do this demonstration, I realized that it would not take away the grief I was feeling. What I really wanted to do was to take hold of my former employers and clobber them real hard. Deep down, I just wanted to get on with my own life. So I called off the demonstration.
Notes on Section I
1. All stories in this guide are based on women's actual experiences. Some names and details have been changed.
Talking About Harassment
[Excerpted from Section 1 of Workplace Harassment Action Taskforce and Ontario Women's Directorate's publication, Workplace Harassment: An Action Guide for Women. (Toronto, ON: Ontario Women's Directorate, 1995) To order, see Publications <../html/publications.html>]
What is Harassment?
What is a Workplace?
What is Workplace Harassment?
Your Right to a Safe Work Environment
Is This Harassment?
What Does the Harasser Think He is Doing?
What Does the Law Say Harassment is?
Is Harassment the Same as Discrimination?
What Should I Do?
This section will help you decide whether or not what is happening to you is harassment. It also contains information to help distinguish between workplace harassment and other types of harassment. Read this section to find out if there are laws against the behaviour you are experiencing
What is Harassment?
Someone is harassing you if:
he is doing things to make you feel uncomfortable;
he is saying things to make you feel uncomfortable;
he is putting you at risk in some way
The harasser will pick anything that makes you seem different from him. You might be harassed because of your:
gender;
race;
disability;
age;
looks;
sexual preference;
religious beliefs;
family;
birth place;
political beliefs (including union activities).
You might be harassed just because the harasser doesn't get along with you. Someone might say that you are "as blind as a bat" or "retarded." Comments like these can be harassment. There are different kinds of harassment. Two common forms are sexual harassment and racial harassment.
Sexual harassment is any unwanted attention of a sexual nature, like remarks about your looks or personal life. Sometimes these comments sound like compliments, but they make you feel uneasy. Sexual harassment can include:
degrading words or pictures (like graffiti, photos, or posters);
physical contact of any kind;
sexual demands.
Racial harassment is any action that expresses or promotes racial hatred and stereotypes. It can be obvious or subtle. It can include:
spoken or written putdowns;
gestures;
jokes;
other unwanted comments or acts.
Racial harassment can be hidden in questions or remarks that seem positive. Here are some examples:
"You are really pretty for a black girl."
"Tell me what it's like to always have your head and hair covered."
"Women from the Philippines are better at that than Canadian women."
"Native people are so good at crafts."
Different kinds of harassment can happen at the same time. Here is an example.
Leslie worked at a government office. She was called "nigger" and "dyke" by her coworkers. A male coworker told her that he was the "real man" she always wanted and offered to "change her. Anytime." She was told her work was not as good as that of other, white, workers. People said that she thought she was too good for her job because of her university degree.' ( see page 10)
Harassers often have authority in the workplace. Your supervisor might be a harasser. You might also be harassed by a coworker who wants you out of his way Or you might be harassed by someone who works under you and doesn't like it. The harasser wants to hold power over you. He counts on your fear of complaining. He may think you are an easy target if there are few women where you work.
What is a Workplace?
Your workplace may be:
an office;
a factory;
a building;
a private home;
a school;
a store.
You may also work outdoors, on a road crew, or in a vehicle. The washroom, cafeteria, and locker room that you use are part of your workplace. So is any other place where your employer does business. Laws and policies are in place to protect you from harassment, no matter where you work.
You may work as a homemaker, nanny or nurse. You may go into someone's home twice a week to help with laundry and housekeeping. You may think that the rules about harassment don't apply in this workplace. In a private home, people are more free to do as they like, but you are still protected under the law. Different work environments mean different ways of dealing with harassment.
You may have to travel as part of your job. For example, you might:
clean people's homes;
repair equipment at different places;
go to conferences or sales meetings.
You may experience harassment while getting from place to place. This can also be seen as workplace harassment. Your employer can't guarantee that you won't be harassed on a bus or walking along a street, but your safety on the job or on the way to and from the job is their concern.
Sometimes harassment that occurs outside the workplace affects your work. Actions like these can cause problems or harm relationships among employees:
someone from work follows you or hangs around your home;
phone calls and letters are sent to your home;
things happen at staff parties or retreats.
Some kinds of work can make you feel very vulnerable. Here is an example:
Regina works for a family as a livein nanny. She came to Canada for this job. She has no family and few friends here. It will be several years before she can apply for status as a landed immigrant or Canadian citizen. When something goes wrong in her workplace, which is also where she lives, Regina does not feel that she has anyone to whom she can turn for help
What is Workplace Harassment?
Workplace harassment is when someone harasses you while you are doing your job, or on your way to or from work. A harasser can be anyone you come in contact with because of your work. That person might be a:
boss;
supervisor;
manager;
Member of your board of directors;
coworker;
customer;
patient;
delivery person;
person in your union.
Harassment can happen anywhere in the workplace:
in the lunchroom;
in rest and washroom areas;
in staff rooms;
on the production line;
in an office.
You might also be harassed outside of your workplace. It can happen at a Christmas party, on a business trip or at a meeting at someone's home. Harassment is not always workplace harassment. It depends on the situation, and your relationship to the harasser. If your boss is in your home and demands that you have sex with him, it is still workplace harassment. Your boss has power over you. He could make things hard for you at work if you say no. If the same thing happens with a coworker who has no power over you at work, it might not be workplace harassment. However, if the coworker harassed you at work later, it would be workplace harassment. The employer would be responsible for stopping it.
Your employer is responsible for any form of harassment that affects the workplace, and your work.
I saw one of the instructors at our school fondle a female instructor at a Christmas party. He grabbed her on the buttocks and pinched her breasts. She clearly did not want him to do this. I considered it sexual harassment. I urged the woman to complain. She did not. Two other women and I reported what we saw. The man was in a position of responsibility and trust, and the school considered that the incident showed that he was not fit to carry out his duties. He was demoted.
Your Right to a Safe Work Environment
You have the right to work in an environment that is free from harassment. Employers are responsible for providing this to all workers. You have the right to expect your employer to take your concerns seriously. It is against the law for anyone you come in contact with on the job to harass you. It is against the law for your supervisor to promise you a raise or job perks in return for sexual favours.
The law also says that you have the right to work in an environment that is not "poisoned" by harassment. You cannot help but be affected by what is happening in the workplace. Your employer cannot expect you to work if people around you are making sexual, racial or homophobic jokes or comments, or putting graffiti and pinups on the wall. All of these things can make it hard to work. They are bad for your mental wellbeing. They affect your work just as if the harassment were directed at you.
You have the right to ask your employer, your union, or an outside agency like the Human Rights Commission to take action against harassment.
Shelley worked at a large corporation which she said was "like a boy's club." She complained about sexual harassment. The same day, she was harassed for complaining. Only the supervisor, the man Shelley complained about and Shelley herself were supposed to know. The "boys," even the ones in the union, stuck by each other. They often made sexual remarks about Shelley, or other women, to her face. They would joke about not upsetting her. The workplace was often postered with pinups. When Shelley handed a written complaint to her supervisor, he said, "I don't need this shit." After she left her job, she filed charges with the Canadian Human Rights Commission against the corporation. She charged her employer with discrimination based on sex and with failing to provide a work environment free of sexual harassment.
Is Workplace Harassment Against the Law?
Sometimes if is. If someone's behaviour is making you uncomfortable, don't keep it to yourself, You may not choose to do anything else, but tell someone about it.
At some time in our lives, we all have to put up with people we don't like very much. Some bosses are not very good at managing staff. They can make the workplace unpleasant or even miserable. That doesn't always mean their behaviour is against the law.
Laying charges is not the only way to deal with harassment. Sometimes taking legal action is not the best way to deal with problems in the workplace. There are other ways to fight harassment which is not actually illegal. Use the ideas in this guide to deal with every kind of harassment appropriately.
Is This Harassment?
There are many clearcut examples of harassment. Racist and homophobic insults are harassment. When a boss demands that an employee have sex or lose her job, it is clearly harassment, and it is against the law. But there are many less obvious examples. Many people are not sure if what they are experiencing is harassment.
Here are some examples of workplace behaviour:
a man puts his arm around a woman at work.;
someone tells an offensive joke;
someone says "You look great," or "Your hair looks terrific," or "Did you get any last night?"
These may or may not be examples of harassment. It depends on the situation. Where two people are friends, a comment like "your hair looks terrific" could be a compliment. If the same comment is made by a stranger on the street, it feels very different. If your boss leans over your desk and whispers the comment in your ear while you are working, it feels different again. The important questions are: do you feel comfortable with this person making this comment? and does he have any reason for believing that his comments are acceptable and welcome?
Here is another example. A group of factory workers have always told off-colour jokes, They are all comfortable with each other. No one is trying to offend anyone, and no one takes the jokes seriously Since they only work with each other all day, they don't have to worry about upsetting anyone else. The jokes might offend some people, but they are not harassment in this situation. If a new person joined their production line and was bothered by the jokes, they should stop telling them. If they persisted with this behaviour in the presence of the new worker, they would be harassing the new worker.
When you don't have support from other workers, it can be very hard to fight.
Stephanie works in the finance department of a large public institution. She is an Ojibway woman, and is the only aboriginal employee in the department. Four months ago the department was reorganized and she now works with a different group of people. They all know each other and have worked together before. They go out to lunch together, talk to each other, and share jokes and slang. Stephanie is left out. She tries to deal with the problem by talking to the only woman in the group, Kate. Stephanie explains that she feels excluded and that she thinks this harms the work. Kate denies anything is happening. She says, "We're not racists, if that's what you mean." Stephanie has said nothing about racism and is a bit surprised.
After this, the workplace becomes unpleasant. It is clear to Stephanie that the others are talking about her. One morning she finds a piece of paper taped to her desk that says "employment equity Indian." When Stephanie complains to her manager, he offers to transfer her. He says, "This is a good group. They work well together. You obviously don't fit in."
What Does the Harasser Think He is Doing?
Harassment can be confusing. You may wonder why the harasser is acting this way.
He might not think he is harassing you.
He might be very surprised when you call what he is doing harassment.
He might not mean to harm you, He is treating you the way he has learned to treat women.
He might feel that he has the right to behave this way with you.
He might not think his actions have a big impact on you.
He might want to push you out of a job that he thinks is for men only
He might be angry because you are assertive or question his way of doing things.
BUT
He might know he is upsetting you or harming you. He may enjoy the challenge. Maybe he feels more powerful when he treats you badly.
And no matter what he thinks he is doing, harassment is wrong. He can stop.
What Does the Law Say Harassment is?
There is more than one definition of harassment under the law. Some forms of harassment are clearer than others. More work has been done on sexual and racial harassment than on other forms. You can check the books listed
at the back of this guide to learn how the law has changed to cover these types of harassment. Some other forms of harassment are still being argued in court. Harassment challenges are happening in a range of workplaces.
The Ontario Human Rights Code and the Canadian Human Rights Act name different forms of discrimination. You can turn to the section on THE HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION for more information. Some harassment cases have gone through the courts. The decisions that the courts have made set some precedents, or guidelines, for new cases.
In these precedentsetting cases, the courts have decided:
when employers are responsible for workers being harassed;
what is and is not acceptable behaviour;
to recognize the seriousness of the effects of harassment on women.
Turn to the section on LEGAL REMEDIES for more information about the legal definitions of harassment and remedies for it.
Is Harassment the Same as Discrimination?
Legal cases have shown that harassment is a form of discrimination. Many collective agreements and workplace harassment policies now use these legal decisions as their own guidelines to protect workers against harassment.
What Should I Do?
Maybe you have been harassed at work for years. Maybe you are being harassed for the first time. Maybe someone or something at work is making you feel uncomfortable, but you aren't sure if it is harassment or not. What should you do?
Trust your instincts. If something makes you uncomfortable, there is a reason. Tell someone you trust right away. Not every comment or gesture is going to turn into ongoing harassment against you. You may want to see if it happens again, or see if it has happened to someone else. But don't ignore your feelings.
Jim was always wanting to see me in his office with the door closed. He would stand behind my chair and rub against my arm. The more he did that, the worse I felt. Once, at the coffee machine, he brushed up against me with his whole body. Then he stepped back and did it again. Finally, I realized I wasn't imagining any of it.
Seek out support. You do not have to deal with harassment alone. Talk to friends and people who can support and encourage you.
Learn as much as you can. You need information about your options. You need to use the help that is available. When you know what is possible, you will be able to decide what to do.
Take care of yourself. Harassment can make you feel bad physically and emotionally. It makes it hard to do your work. You may be too afraid of losing your job. You may be worried about what will happen to you. You may not feel ready to deal with your harasser. If you choose to stay quiet, please read this book, especially Section 6 on TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. Harassment affects more than just your job. It can upset your home life, your relationships and your health.
Deal with the harasser yourself first. Turn to Section, 2 on PERSONAL REMEDIES <../html/personal_remedies.html> for some strategies.
Deal with the harassment through your workplace. You can do this formally or informally Remember that you have the right to work in an environment free from harassment. Turn to Section 3 on WORKPLACE REMEDIES for ideas.
Make a legal complaint. If you can't resolve the problem at work, you may decide to make a legal complaint. Turn to Section 4 on LEGAL REMEDIES for more information.
You can change your mind. As you proceed you may decide that a different course of action is best for you.
My first employers in Canada harassed me and then unfairly fired me. I'd been their nanny for less than a month. But I was a member of a group of domestic workers then. We had the idea to go together and demonstrate in front of the family's home. We would have embarrassed the couple. As we made plans to do this demonstration, I realized that it would not take away the grief I was feeling. What I really wanted to do was to take hold of my former employers and clobber them real hard. Deep down, I just wanted to get on with my own life. So I called off the demonstration.
Notes on Section I
1. All stories in this guide are based on women's actual experiences. Some names and details have been changed.
2. This section has been adapted from The 9to5 Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment, Bravo & Cassedy, 1992.